Top 15 rules and strategies for Topalov after game 4 against Anand.

1. Topalov can have two kings. This will decrease chances of losing by half.

2. Topalov can queen his pawn once it reaches rank 5.

3. Anand must play left handed. Topalov can use both hands (new Sofia rule)

4. Topalov can use unlimited phone a friend, but only to Nigel Short.

5. Topalov reserves the right to dial 911 when his pieces come under fire.

6. Topalov will choose a color and then switch sides half way through the game.

7. Topalov can hide under the table until the storm passes above.

8. Topalov can call Ban Ki Moon to initiate peace efforts and prevent King take over.

9. Topalov will invoke the Geneva convention. Once Anand takes a piece he must return it after brief detention.

10. Topalov will talk to Kamsky for a shoulder after a loss.

11. Topalov will be warned on 10 different occasions (at least) before a check mate.

12. Topalov will sit with the arbiter so he can offer the draw before he screws it up further.

13. Topalov will not be asked difficult questions by the press such as "Where did it go wrong?"

14. Topalov will go to Frankfurt and drive back for 40 hours and watch Lord of the rings.

15. Topalov will go to Iceland and get stuck and postpone the championship.

Courtesy: chessisjoy.blogspot.com