Monday, August 31, 2009

Softwarism!!!

Softwarism!!!!

Gandhism:

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

*******

Indiraism:

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

*******

Lalooism:

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for
them.

*******

Rajnikantism:

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in
your
mouth.

*******

Rajivism:

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

*******

Softwarism:( Ultimate. ...):

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them

1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them

(Framework)

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client

the way in

which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2

7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few
problem
with

accessories. (Change framework)

8 . Redo step 4

9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from

bulls

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance
Test)

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at
slow
rate

(performance issue)

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old
and
get ready

for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

Information transmitted by this e-mail is proprietary to MphasiS, its associated companies and/ or its customers and is intended
for use only by the individual or entity to which it is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential or
exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient or it appears that this mail has been forwarded
to you without proper authority, you are notified that any use or dissemination of this information in any manner is strictly
prohibited. In such cases, please notify us immediately at mailmaster@mphasis.com and delete this mail from your records.

No comments: